Some people live in the past; trying to recreate moments and memories they miss or want to redo. Other live in the present, experiencing things as they happen and going with whatever happens. I live in the future. I can’t help but always think about future consequences, rewards, or outcomes when making a decision. I don’t dwell on little things like what to eat for breakfast or what to wear to class thinking that will make a difference to my future, but almost all of my big decisions result in whatever option will, in the long run, be the best for me.
I’ll admit that I might be obsessive over a few things: where I go to college, what degree I get, how I can get a good job after, how I can become independent and powerful. I don’t try to live for later but I always think about my priorities and maybe going out and hanging with friends isn’t as high on my list as studying so that I get a good grade and it looks better to future employers. I realize that although my intentions are good, this force inside me making me live my life like this isn’t always the best.
My eighteenth birthday present was four tickets to go see one of my favorite bands, Coldplay, perform in a huge, open, grassy field where everyone camps out and relaxes for an entire weekend. I couldn’t have been more excited to road trip over to see them with my best friends. Then, after much advising from my college counselor, I was convinced into going to a math summer camp instead. The decision was up to me, I’m not trying to pretend that I was forced into it, but my inner drive to achieve greatness would not let me turn the camp down, thinking that this would make colleges want me more, I would be more diverse and interesting. Of course I waste the tickets to my dream concert to spend two weeks in Michigan studying game theory, which I could care less about, just to add another thing onto my resume. I do things because of what they will result in later in life; because I think that they would give me the most opportunities.