I’ve been around the world. I’ve lived in Yokosuka, Misawa, and Sasebo, Japan. I’ve been to the Philippines, traveling from Peñaranda to Tarlac City, visiting Manila, Baguio, Borocay, and everywhere in-between. I’ve stopped over at Guam and China for some hours,Vancouver a day, stuck in South Korea for three days, vacationed in Washington a week, Hawaii two, and spent countless summer days throughout California and Nevada. Throughout all those trips, I’ve realized how lucky I am to have a happy—though sometimes dysfunctional—family and enough clothes, food, and shelter to live. Maybe that’s why I’m always motivated to do my work, to do my best in school and life. Or maybe not.
Why do I always do what I’m supposed to do, finish what I’m supposed to finish, and always try to do what’s “right”? I think because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I don’t get those good grades, get a job, and live a normal life. Every time I moved when I was younger, I always had to adjust and make new friends. I would do what I was supposed to in order to fit in, just to have to move yet again. I hated that change. It was a life-changing experience taking in different cultures and meeting different people, but at times all I wanted was stability. That’s why I go by the rules. Because the rules never change. But now that I’m in college, truly alone, I don’t know what I want to do in the future or where I’ll end up. That scares me.
At times I found myself wanting to skip the present, until I already settled down with a family and consistent job. But now I’m realizing what’s the fun in that? Looking back at my past, I never would have known I would be sitting in a dorm in Los Angeles right now. Looking back at those trips and even those small unforgettable moments with my friends, I’m starting to realize it’s the journey that counts. I just need to stop being afraid of the unknown destination.