I think hanging out with college friends has opened my eyes a bit. They're my friends and all but one thing that annoys me the most is the constant talk about "sex" everytime they get bored and have nothing else to talk about. It really makes me feel uncomforable and I don't like it. Why? I don't know...may be it's because of the environment I was riased in and the friends I had in high school weren't like that. I feel as though I'm such a pure child around them, even though I'm not. It does make it seem as though the only thing on a guy's mind is "doing it" with a girl which makes them so immature.

Last week, I read a friend's quote: "Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart, but hoping they won't..." It reminded me of my fear of being rejected. I like this guy but I'm afraid of rejection and then there's this other thing that's holding me back. I think this is like the only place where he won't find this blog. Does he know that I like him? I don't know...I feel that men are all playboys. Will he change and be the man for me? As far as I know, he's failing at it right now [which makes me sad].

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Comment by Paula F. on November 16, 2009 at 8:46am
I was the same was so dont feel like you are alone. I went thru the same thing in college and just to let you know it gets better just as long as you stick to your guns. And as far as this guy...if he wants to make it work between the two of you then he will honor your wishes and morals. I learned the hard way and gave in to a guy i really liked and that was the absolute worse thing i could have done and i still after all these years regret it. My biggest fear then and still is rejection but i learned that if people reject you for you and your beliefs then they arent worth wasting your emotions on in the first place. Try surrounding yourself with friends that are more grounded like you are and you will find you will feel stronger about yourself and if your friends now are true friends they will follow. You can be a strong infuluence to the good in their life.

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