I am working on my last chapter of my book and I have decided that I was going to look back and see what it is exactly that brought me to this day. Meaning, I wanted to know why my relationships failed. I started reading the first three chapters of the first book, my first thought was how hard it was to go back and read that again. I never realized how deep and profound my writing was when I was at rock bottom. However, taking notes and analizing all details, I have realized one thing:
Out of all the relationships I have ever had, I was never MYSELF!!!
In the beginning, Yes I was, that is probably what attracted these men to me, I was fun, adventurous, spontaneous, and I really didn't care about what people thought. But for some reason as the relationships grew, I became a form of what they expected me to be. The change was always so drastic, that is when i starting losing who I was. It made me realize as well, why did I have to do that? This is why I was never happy, I couldn't be myself around these men and for what? Because I feared losing them? Look where that got me.
If I was really afraid that maybe they wouldn't accept me for me, then why did they love me in the first place?
Today, I am proud to announce, I have discovered myself. I will no longer be a victim of someone's flaws or dictation. I WILL BE ME.