Suffocation. I feel my lungs constricting, my breathing short, my heart pumping. I'm racing against time, every tick of every second. Why did I put this off until now? Why did I not learn my lesson the first time around? Anxiety builds to an ultimate high. I'm struggling to keep up with my brain. It's me against the world (the glow of the computer screen). Blood is rushing to my head, and it throbs not with pain but with the knowledge that this goodness forsaken paper is due too soon. The clickety-clacks of my keys are deafening in the still of the night. Is that the sun I spy? Time sneaks up on me with a devilish smile and I grimace under its twenty-four hour confinement.
I'm not alone. I just happen to be the worst of the bunch. I'm a chronic procrastinator and I can't stop. Procrastination is addiction. I'm addicted to the late nights, the early mornings, the “all-nighters.” I finish my assignments within minutes before the start of school or during break before class. Then I'm rushing to print them out during my six-minute passing period or whenever possible. I start my homework as the teacher begins lecturing and finish right as the bell rings. I put off assignments until the next day and slip them in the basket the following day. I think I'm invincible, that I can get away with procrastination but I don't get away with it. I just fool myself into thinking that I do. So why do I keep procrastinating when it does nothing for me? If asked on the spot, my answers would be that I'm lazy, I'm confident I could finish it later (it's not that hard), or I need to finish something else first (simply wasting time). The sad truth is that I do what I do because I lack the passion. I lack the passion to begin, to continue, to end. I do not care enough to excel. I do not care enough to manage my time efficiently for the sake of my health and my sanity.