I must be the worst performer on the face of this earth. I’ve been playing piano for as long as I can remember, but I can never get myself to successfully perform a music piece in front of an audience.
My inability to play the piano in front of others became especially prevalent when I was delivering my graduation piece in front of, from what I can remember, at least a hundred people. I practiced the famous Komitas piece for an entire year, I bet I could recite the notes line by line if you asked me, but when I got on stage, all hell broke loose. I started feeling nauseous, my palms began sweating uncontrollably, and when I sat down and placed my fingers on the black and white keys, I totally blanked out. My fingers began to shake as I hesitantly looked for the correct key to start from. How else could I possibly embarrass myself? Hold on, the story only gets better. Throughout the entire piece, my eyes kept wandering off to the crowd. I didn’t know who or what I was looking for, I just needed a distraction while playing. I began messing up all the notes, lost track of the count, and massacred the piece. After I finished, the crowd was quick on the applause, probably trying to get me off the stage as soon as they could. I left the stage with a satisfied grin on my face.
To tell you the truth, it didn’t bother me. I’m the only person that knows why I do what I do. Playing the piano is my means of escape, it is how I choose to face reality. As I feel my thoughts shaping into notes and the melodies flowing beneath my fingers, the trivial aspect of life loses meaning. My worries disappear and I escape into this harmonious world solely controlled by me. Life can get pretty complicated at times. We all need a distraction once in a while and I was fortunate enough to find mine.