I put my all into everything I do because I have nothing better to do. As a third year Neuroscience major following the path of a pre-med, I feel that though I work every minute of the day, experience an ecstatic rush when breezing through the pre-med material, and enjoy being busy, I sometimes feel like I am blind and coursing through school without really knowing if this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. It is not as if my choice in wanting to venture through the long four years in medical school and arduous three years in residency was an arbitrary one, but I sometimes feel the serious doubt in what I want to do with my life. There is no way for me to actually decipher whether being a doctor is seriously the path for me because I have not had intense experience in a hospital or parents who are doctors. I feel like there really is no way for me to experience the day-to-day routine of a doctor without becoming one, which is the real issue for me.
I have my predictions of whether I want to be a doctor in that I would love to have doctor to patient interactions, would love studying medicinal practices, and enjoy the relatively busy lifestyle they lead. However, it is not enough to have these predictions without the actual daily experience. I can not completely rule out my potential future in business, or law, or engineering, or anything else because I would not know what that is like. What is even more, is that I would not know if I would completely feel deeply content with my future in medicine. On a more profound and abstract level, I am doubtful of how much excitement, how much fulfillment this career path can bring for me.