My name is Joe Rodrigues and I cannot motivate myself to do anything I want to do. This is somewhat odd because most people think I am the most motivated person they know. I study hard and I seem unbelievably driven to reach my goals. That is the problem—who I am is defined by how hard I work. While I’m sure that’s a good thing on some level, my problem lies with everything else in my life. As of now, studying is probably what drives my life, and, as much as I need to do it to go where I want to go, it’s not what deep down I myself want to do. This does not come from any direct pressure from my parents. Well, at least not in a “you need to be a doctor or we’ll disown you” kind of way. I am completely self-driven yet the parts that drive me now are not the ones I originally intended to. In the beginning I wanted to be a doctor to help people and make the world a better place—probably about as cliché as you can get. However, what runs my life now is anxiety and apathy. Anytime I want to do something it has to be driven by some kind of pressure of impending doom. So, after the first two years of college I have found myself less and less the person I want to be. I lose friendships, relationships, and happiness all due to my inability to overcome my own inertia. It’s hard to come up with a real example that is more than instead of doing what I wanted to do, I sat at home instead consumed by stress. Why do I do this? Maybe it’s because my whole life things were planned out for me day to day. Maybe I have always been an apathetic person. Maybe I can’t think for myself. Either way, I do what I do because I believe anyone can accomplish anything they set there mind to. I just have to change my mindset.

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Comment by natalia kartashova on October 28, 2009 at 12:37pm
i think you at least know that education will help you later on with any goals...sometimes we realize something suddenly,we discover our passion for something along with pain,love,tragedy,happiness-life.if you ask yourself"what is an ideal picture of my future?" what do you see?family?books,written by you?lives you saved as a doctor?what is there?who are around?what kind of people you want to have in your life?than be that kind,cause you will always attract what you are:)

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