The question of why I do what I do is a tough one, not just because it requires thought, because many times I contradict myself, my actions, and my words. As I pondered this question I thought back to a speech I watched online of Apple CEO Steve Jobs making a commencement speech to Stanford University. He told 3 stories from his life, and one of them resonated with me to the point where it is one of the only ways to describe my actions. His story, abridged, says that when he dropped out of college, he randomly took calligraphy classes because they seemed interesting. When he created the Mac personal computer, he included the calligraphical knowledge that he had, and created a masterpiece with variable typography. If he had never had taken that random and obscure class, personal computers may not be what they are now. The quote, with which I rarely forget, and always refer to is:
Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, youcan't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
So, to get to my point about why do I do what I do and why it gives me peace of mind. Whenever I stop and think about why I am doing something, or should I do this or that, I always remember that I cannot connect the dots looking forward, and that someday, what I do or what I learn could come in great use. Some random and obscure fact that may seemingly be unimportant could have profound meaning in my life, 10,20, even 30 years down the road. It gives me peace of mind to know, or to even not know that everything I do, could change my life eventually. Through this, I sometimes do obscure and illogical things, knowing or hoping in the back of my mind, that the dots will connect, and my reasoning was valid.