So, i found this website and i found it really cool and a little bit inspiring. I've felt the need to express myself lately and its pathetic that i don't really know how. I basically have no one to talk to, besides my loving boyfriend and my best friend Matt. I have no girl friends to gossip to or talk about my feelings too. I mean, i let Ryan, my boyfriend, know basically everything about me, but sometimes i feel the need to express my feelings about him. Which are always good, of course :]. Or sometimes i don't like to let the people i care about most know that I'm upset because I am most of the time.
I don't even know if anyone is going to read this, and i don't really care i suppose. It's just good to have someplace to vent with other people who may have the same problem as me or who just want to be part of this cool community.
This is the first journal that I've kept in a long time. I usually don't keep one because when i vent, i force myself to think about things and it usually gets me really upset. When i just ignore everything, its much easier to go on with the day. But there have been a lot of things bothering me lately. Well, not really bothering, but just constantly on my mind and i don't feel like i have anyone to turn to like i used to. Which that is another thing that has been bothering me but that's a different story.
I think I am going to try and write on this everyday, and everyday i can talk about something that is bothering me and maybe soon, i will feel better, or feel more open to talk to other people. I feel stupid sometimes because there is always something that is bothering me or making me upset and I'm used to it but people just don't understand that sometimes. Like they will tell me i have no reason to be upset but its not like i can help it. I don't know. If i went to Ryan or Matt everyday about the things that bother me, I would one, be more upset because i would be trying to solve those problems but by doing so, i would be making them into a bigger problem, and two, annoy the crap out of them or worry them that there is possibly a bigger issue.
I should really talk to someone about this, not a blog. But baby steps. I can't talk to Ryan about it tomorrow because it will get in the way of my school work because i know i will get upset. so its going to have to wait until next week when i see him alone. If i even want to talk about anything then.
I'm getting off. Getting upset. Bye.