As a child growing up, I have never really had the option of failing. It has always been my mother who has encouraged me to do my best, to get a better education, to work with my brain and not my body, and to live a slightly better life than she did. She has encouraged me and supported me throughout my life.
As a people pleaser, I find it extremely difficult to let down those around, especially my mom, and myself. There’s a pressure to continue doing well in school, to get into a good medical school, to be role model for my dad’s side of the family, and even some of the family members on my mom’s side of the family. As an individual looking in on all that I have done so far to be at this point in my life, I fear that it’s too late to drop everything and start new. This isn’t something that I want to have happen, or even wish to do instead of going to college, but it is a very real circumstance that I feel could occur unexpectedly. I love being an undergraduate at UCLA, but I always wonder if I would have taken a different path. What if I wasn’t expected to get A’s in all my college classes or to become a doctor? I chose to tell people that I want to become a doctor, and I try my best in classes because I want to get a higher education and I want to someday work with children as a pediatrician. The added pressure of expectations comes when my family tells me not to worry, I’ll get into medical school, or that I’ll get A’s in all my classes. I set these goals for myself, but it’s different when I know that I fell short of my goals, than when I bring someone down with me.
I aim to please, that is simply how I live my life. I don’t like to let people down which explains certain aspects about me, but overall, I enjoy the extra pressure at times because it keeps my motivated.
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