I’m a very angry person. I have a lot of beliefs that I subscribe to that I refuse to vary from, even though I often find that my line of thinking makes me unhappy. I value intelligence above all else, but I also enjoy wit, excellent memory and attention to detail. I am always looking to connect to other people, even though I find it more difficult than most people do. I believe it’s my personal perpetual challenge that will probably never be fully realized.I work in a library, I play bridge and I would like to work in computer science. Though these are simply things I do they represent integral parts of my personality. I describe myself as angry because of the level to which I judge myself/my surroundings/my peers. I am never pleased with others or how things are going, which I’m sure is an extreme evolutionary benefit, which I feel both positively and negatively about.I think some people look down on me because of a “lack of interest” I have. Aside from classes, work and the occasional card game I have very few passions. This is usually taken as a sign that someone is a very “flat” type of character. And in most circumstances I would agree – we don’t really have a purpose here so we are essentially our passions. It’s a shame that no one views “going to YRL” as a legitimate passion.I love stories and I do see beauty in music and books and films, though I find there’s an extremely critical point of beauty for me. I can find a song beautiful for several weeks but then lose that feeling forever. I desire efficiency even though I claim to understand the “meaninglessness” of it all, which I suppose is just a senseless aspect of personality. At the same time nothing can be taken too seriously if they’re all constructs, so I enjoy a constant poking fun at the world.I will often subscribe to a “I will only do what I want to do” philosophy because I think that’s a road to happiness. This guides many of my decisions. Simultaneously though I know that I must force myself to participate in a lot of activities (even if it’s just hanging out with friends) because I know I may derive a higher feeling of happiness that my initial desire to participate implies. I also feel that I’m constantly muddled by my thoughts – not because they are so deep but because I find a constant contradiction in life that is a bit too difficult for me to deal with. So despite considerable incoherence, I believe it’s a fair enough depiction of who I am. Or what not.
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