Two years ago in early August, my ensemble and I won the Drum Corps International World Championships in Indianapolis, Indiana: one of the happiest days of my life. I had worked diligently for the eight years leading up to that fateful day, and I made a dream a reality I had never thought was possible. My passion since middle school has been percussion performance, composition, and the education of others, but the small chance of financial success in pursing a career in those fields and lack of support of my family prevented me from continuing to practice what ultimately makes me happy. As an only child raised by two Southerners from low-income households who worked hard to get where they are today, I was ingrained with a mentality of independence, as well as a drive for perfection that motivates almost all that I do. The comfortable lifestyle I grew up with is one I don’t want to give up and the choice to be fiscally independent and pay for my undergraduate education was not worth the potential insecurity of fulfilling my musical desires, essentially forcing me into an Economics major with a minor in Accounting funded by my family. Throughout my college experience, I have worked diligently to get good grades, work in Business-related jobs and internships, and hold the right leadership positions instead of practicing music, all in attemp to secure a prestigious job at a reputable firm. The result has been an unfulfilling undergraduate education that currently serves to foreshadow the imminent unhappiness I will continue to endure as I enter the working world in a short six months. Sometimes I have felt like a machine with a set weekly routine that not satisfactory or changeable, trapped in a harsh reality I can’t escape and can barely endure. I was not pushed by my family or myself to be happy now, rather for success, satisfaction, and joy in the future. Motivated by a fear of failure and inability to provide, I struggle to find enjoyment in everyday life.
Why do I do what I do? Because I do not want to disappoint my family and myself by struggling later.
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