I believe that happiness is based upon self-love. If you can’t look in the mirror and be completely satisfied with the person looking back at you – their looks, their accomplishments, their hopes and dreams – then you can’t achieve happiness in your life. You are the window through which you see the world, and if you don’t love yourself you cannot love the world.
There used to be a time when I neither loved nor appreciated myself. I was trapped in a terrible perfectionism that kept me from recognizing my strengths and instead made me focus on all my weaknesses. Nothing I did was ever enough. This affected every aspect of my life, and eventually extended to my body image. For two years I suffered from an eating disorder, and those were the darkest two years of my life. My dissatisfaction with how I looked consumed me and because what I was or wasn’t eating was my obsession, I could never find happiness in anything else. It took time and a lot of support from my friends, but I finally broke free of the perfectionism that had restrained me for so long and found that I didn’t have to try to be anyone but just me. I was perfect by virtue of the fact that I was imperfect.
Today, I never deny my body the nourishment it needs to sustain itself. Just like my eating disorder sucked the happiness out my 14 and 15 year old self, finally letting go of the need to be perfect has reinvigorated me and made me one hundred percent happy, one hundred percent of the time. I embrace just being me, and am convinced life has never been better. Loving myself has given me a new appreciation for people I’m surrounded by as well as people I’ve never spoken a single word to in my life. Whereas I used to always want to be alone, I now thrive off of interaction with my friends and family and am passionate about pursuing a career in nursing so I can help those who need it.
I do what I do because there is absolutely no reason for me not to be happy. More than many people I know, I understand what it’s like to be the opposite, and I will do whatever I can never to get to that place or anything remotely like it again.
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