I do what I do because I do not want to live life inquiring what could have been. Fear is an understandable obstacle to overcome when making choices in life, but I do not want it to deter me from making the choices I want to make. Though I simultaneously appreciate and fear the unknown, I make the choices I do because I want to know about the unknown.
Choices were easier to make when I was younger. There was such a limited amount to choose from and the unknown was fairly minimal. My parents knew what was best and chose what I needed to do. But as I grew older, I had to make more choices for myself and what I did not understand as a child was that there are a multitude of choices, answers, and risks out there and it was exciting, yet extremely terrifying at the same time.
One of the first choices I had to make for myself (not knowing the outcome) was choosing what college I was going to attend. It was a choice between the UCSD and UCLA. Many of my friends were going to attend UCSD and no one I knew was attending UCLA. I was afraid to choose UCLA due to the lack of familiarity. In the end, I did choose UCLA. Admittedly, the first few weeks were not the easiest days of my life, but I am still here as a second year, never once regretting my choice. The memories, adventures, and friends I have made here was worth every worry and fear I had during my arduous task of deciding.
There are still many unanswered questions in my life, such as the incessant question of, ”What am I doing with my life,” but I want to and try to live for myself when answering those questions. The fear of making the wrong choice will linger temporarily in the back of my mind, but I will always regret the choice I was afraid to make forever. I do not want to look back at my life thinking, what if, even if the choices I make are good, bad, wrong or right.
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