Bleeding Flower

[Vanessa Alvarez]

I had a rough start in the beginning of my freshman year at UCLA. I would have never thought that I would be sitting here right now, answering the one question most have trouble answering. I am a triplet in a family of seven that also has a set of twins. Seeing all the mistakes my family has went through has steered me in the right direction. I am the crutch in my family, the glue that holds it together. But, I am also a young woman who is fighting with depression day by day.  Right now I do what I do for my family and it has always been that way. Ever since I was small I would try my best to help around the house and show my family that I love them a lot because I was tired of seeing them in pain. I noticed how broken my family was in the third grade and I took it upon myself to make them happy by doing good in school, in hopes of going to college and becoming someone. Having a mom who is fighting with depression, a dad who was an alcoholic and brothers who messed up their lives with drugs and alcohol is nothing to look up to. The one person I looked up to was my older sister who was the first in my family to graduate high school and go to college. But she was not able to finish college because she had to take care of her daughter. However, she plans on finishing college and becoming a police officer. She is my aspiration. My family noticed that I was going to be the one who will succeed and make them proud. This was a lot of weight to carry but I plan on accomplishing it. They had no idea how sad and lonely I felt inside. I graduated high school with honors and was in the top ten percent in my class. I came to UCLA with my head held up high and ready to take on anything that came my way. However, all of this came crashing down in an instant. I didn’t make any friends and failed all my classes. I felt like my life was falling apart and that it would not get any better. I gave up on everything and no longer cared who I would hurt if took my own life. However, someone heard my cry for help and slapped some sense into me. As of right now, I am still pulling myself together and trying to see that there is so much to live for. My dream is to make my family’s dream come true and to become a child psychologist who specializes in depression. I want to help as many people as I can who are fighting with depression.