When faced with fear and memories, it is like a big bolt of lightning striking through my body. I cannot see the reality of life only the pain and struggles I endure. There is no bigger fear than losing your mind but for me I would like to see all of my memories go away. I am sad; Christmas is but a week away and it has always been the best time of year for me. I also have a birthday coming and this year it all means nothing. I have lost all spirit, love, happiness and as much as I write about ambition and hope, I can't seem to bring myself to be strong.My writing is one of the most important thing to me at this present time and it is the only thing that keeps me sane. I am glad that people read my stories and give me comments with positive feedback. It gives me a little inspiration that someday I will heal from this. For Today I am sharing a poem I wrote sometime ago:I lit a flame todayIn hopes to burn the pain awayI feel such pain and sorrowAnd know I will be here tomorrowI do not have wings to flyAll I do is sit and cryI embrace life with turmoil and despairLove someone who doesn't careWith every breathe I takeI know his love has been a fakeTo rise above a new tomorrowWhere no more love, pain & sorrowOh how I wish for theeTo be ever so happyBut just until the end of dayI will write my blues away-by Cathy PW Belyea
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