Posted by Michael Allen on October 15, 2009 at 7:57pm
I am better than everyone else. My point of view is always right. I proclaim that nobody is perfect, but a part of me harbors the delusion that I am not far from it. I hate to lose.I also hate to lie.Achieving a state of humility is an extremely difficult prospect. Why then do I seek to be humble? Only in such a state can I find the strength to let go, the courage to live honestly, and the freedom to lead a life of simplicity. I believe that through humility, I can find peace.Whatever humbleness exists in my nature is unceasingly assailed by my ego. On a certain occasion, a colleague and long time friend of mine called me to share his company’s new advances in its industry. These successes catapulted him ever further ahead in his career. He had accomplished partner status and would now share in his company’s earnings. He proceeded excitedly to describe the details of his glorious achievement, down to the exact dimensions of the granite and brushed steel custom executive desk he had ordered for his new 600 square foot office.My pulse elevated as fear and insecurity took hold of my emotions. My mask was tightly affixed, however, and I delivered customary niceties with little effort: “That is fantastic, Frank. You deserve it.” Shortly after, however, I told my friend that I needed to go because a client of mine arrived. Of course, both my response to him and my reason for hanging up were insincere.I had let myself believe that my friend’s success symbolized my downfall. At times, I see things as a zero-sum game. If others close to me excel, I feel I have lost in some way. This insecure side of me hones in on the unnecessary, insidious competition in such situations. My fear of appearing less than perfect causes me to embellish about who I am. I then become the liar I hate.So, in the pursuit of humility, I continue my struggle:to set aside the murmurs of my vain desires and self-importance;to battle my fear of imperfection;to yearn to serve others;to love unconditionally.
I really enjoyed reading your story. I think if we all can be a little bit more humble, the world will be a better place but we, as human being are so much more complicated in many ways, makes everything harder. As your good friend, I know you can be a hard headed, very stubborn sometimes but I also know you are a sensitive, humble and good hearted person. So keep struggling and you will be in a better place of mind and body and I am happy to have you as my friend!
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