It's just easier

[James S Chung]

Throughout the nineteen years of my life, I've moved three times and lived in four different locations. There are two ways for me to look at this. On one hand, I've been blessed to be able to travel and experience the different lifestyles of the places I’ve lived. On the other hand, it is sad to think that there hasn't been a single place for me to call "home," and I never feel permanently established anywhere. I was born in Glendale, but raised in Montebello, CA. When I was eight years old my family thought it would be a good idea to move to Pleasanton, CA, and soon after I turned thirteen, we moved again to Dublin, CA. A year later, we were looking for a change of pace and came down to Arcadia, CA. Although I’m glad I’ve been able to live in various places, many times I can’t help but feel estranged and alone. Because I haven’t stayed at a single location for any significant period of time, it’s been difficult to make lasting friendships; I’ve grown used to having friends come and go in my life. As a result, I’ve made a shell to keep most people out so that I can protect myself from the pain of separation. At the same time, however, I enjoy the company of friends. I figured the easiest way to maintain this balance is to be the happy-go-lucky kid or the “class clown.” When I’m with my friends and peers I’m usually the goofy, “chill,” and likeable guy. As a result, I’ve been able to befriend many people, but not really dig deeper into the friendships. Quantity has trumped quality: most, if not all, of my many friendships have become superficial. As bad as this may sound, I don’t really mind that. Chances are, I won’t see or talk to these people as the years go on. I might as well save myself from the pain and nostalgia by taking life as it comes, enjoying friends while I have them.