Laughter: HAHA?! LOL?!

[Juan Flores]

Laughter: HAHA?! LOL?!I laugh to hide my pain.My grandmother was a great comedian.My grandmother was a great mother.My grandmother was a great cook.But who am I?I am a car accident survivor.I laugh to hide the tragic memories.Who is my grandmother?My grandmother is another body at the cemetery thanks to the car accident.I am aFALLING soul without her.HE took her.I laugh to hide those struggles.But why else do I laugh?I laugh in order not to cry, in order not to fall into depression once again.I laugh to hide those dark thoughts.HE took her.But I laugh in order not to think about it.I laugh in order not to question him.Why did he put me through that?Who knows? IDK, but I just laugh it off.He left me to laugh by myself.Who is HE?HE is the all knowing and all seeing.I laugh with friends.I laugh with family.But all in all, I still laugh by myself.I wish I could laugh with my grandmother again.Wish we could laugh off all the things I would tell her.Wish we could laugh about how my ex-girlfriend wasn’t for me, but this guy I’ve talked to has been making me laugh.It is said laughing is the best medicine.Medicine is known to relieve the pain.Laughing has just been a soother.Laughing hasn’t healed anything.But why do I still laugh?I laugh because it’s my way of being.I laugh because it’s my way of seeing.I laugh because it’s my way of believing.I laugh because it’s who I am and what I do.