So that my future can be less frightening

[cindy]

The question raises itself frequently in my mind... Why am I spending time on facebook, why am I not studying, why am I studying? Since I was a little girl, I told myself—at first to make my parents happy, then later to make myself happy—that my future lay in medicine. My pursuit of this professor has raised eyebrows and garnered a judgmental “she’s only in it for the money even though she says otherwise” aside. But it has also accredited me with respect; first for pursuing such a difficult occupation, and second for my enthusiasm and eagerness to help others. My educational experience here at UCLA has been a rollercoaster movement: I’ve hit my ups and downs early. Sleepless nights worrying about midterms, unattended parties, insecurities—I’ve experienced it all.  That’s not to say that my educational experience has been all bad, but I have come to grips with the fact that college is different than high school, a clichéd fact that resonates now after having gone through more than one year of school. People say that college is the best time of a person’s life, and although this may be true, college is just a stepping-stone for me. My future lies beyond UCLA—it lies in a picture I have painted in my head which involves the moments that flash by too fast: spending quality time with my family, laughing so much that my stomach aches, the wide-eyed wonder of seeing a new place for the first time, and so on. So why do I do what I do? I do it because I can—because I am fortunate to be born in America, to go to school, to have a future that right now looks promising. I do what I do because I can look at myself and be proud of my successes and wiser through my mistakes. More than anything I want to be deserving of all the blessings I have had and be in a position to repay them later on.