The reasons..

[Jisu Shin]

I do the stuff I do because I feel the need to do it. The answer is plain and simple: because I can't live without it. My teacher used to ask me, "Why do we do music?" and she would reply to her own question by saying, "because we have to do it." I completely agree with her. However, my opinions weren't so strong until about recently. When I first started playing the piano, I felt the need to do something, who knows what, I was searching for something I can do, something valuable and something that others will acknowledge me for doing, and that's when I started playing the piano. I wanted to show the world I am capable of doing something, and I'm not a useless person. But now, music has become something I cannot  dare to ignore in my life. It's something I need in my daily life, something that will eventually keep me in "shape". I can go on for days without playing the piano only to find my mind filling with anxiety. It's not like playing the piano makes me happy or not playing the piano makes me sad, its just that it's a part of my life where if I ignore it, I feel empty and something is missing. However, music does control my mind, emotional ups and downs in my daily schedule, and something my feelings as well. I love playing in a concert yet I dislike the nervousness that comes from it, I love playing the pieces fluently yet I don't like to practice. These are just something that I'd have to deal with by playing the piano, but I won't be able to take the piano away from my life because of it. It's because I need the music in my life where all the hinders are not a big deal if I can do the stuff I do.