Life is a painting, and I am the artist of mine, just as you are of yours. Whether this “painting” is colorful or not, we are the one that decide.
Why do I do what I do? I have one word answer for that - “satisfied”. I am a very optimistic person and can be as much childish as I could be. Life is so short and always passes us by without giving us any moment to treasure. If life sometimes leaves us with the moment of loneliness, use that moment to figure out the real meaning of our existence, to step in the shoe of whoever was hurt by us, and to feel the pain they have. No one knows what will happen as he open his eyes tomorrow, and as time passes, we have nothing left but just a trace of past that we would never get rid of. Instead of letting that past haunts us, why not make them the moment we never want to fade out in our memory?
The reason for me to do what I do is to see myself “existing” in this world. I know a weird kind of achievement that as you think you achieve it, it turns out to be nothing. How freaky I used to feel: “Now what, I have done it. Why did it even matter for me to get it done?” I had been running for 15, or even 17 years to reach what I called success, and achievement. I worked until I reached the top, became the one all teachers liked, a friend that other admired. Ironically, what did I achieve? There was nothing. What is the point of running so fast to reach the top and leaving everything else behind? You can only “exist” in this world when you open up yourself, stop for a while, intertwine your life to others' and make others' parts of yours.
Now, I am learning how to love a person – how to give love, not just receiving it. I don’t want to be the one running away because she’s scared she will hurt. I want to be there, offering all I have to see the smile of my family and friends. I want to be a child again, laughing all days just for silly things. I want to bring the moment of childhood happen once again in the future. I want to feel the warmness of my entire family’s gathering, not only with my parents and sister, but with everyone I have grown up with.
The author of “Behind Happy Face”, Rose Szabo, said that “Everyone is a freak in his own way … Embrace your freakishness”. I don’t know how freaky I really am, but for sure, I am unique in my own way, just as you are in yours. I live to make that freakishness a reason for my family and everyone to be happy.
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