I’ve always wondered what it would be like to fly.
I’ve never done drugs. Nearly all my friends are Asian. Spontaneous is one of the last words I would use to describe myself. Growing up in a traditional Chinese family isn’t exactly what you would call an independent childhood. Ever since day one, life has been sheltered and completely planned out. Go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a job, make babies. Don’t get me wrong: my parents definitely did not force me to do everything the way they wanted; much of what I did and what I’m doing in life is completely my choice. But most of it is calculated, safe, and risk-free. With concrete principles and guidelines drilled into me, I’ve been taught to avoid risk as much as possible. In many ways, this trait is helpful. Being a sort of “goody-two-shoes” has gotten me into UCLA, and I’ve never been through any serious danger.
However, it has also made me into someone who hasn’t yet grown up. Even in college, three hundred miles away from my parents, I rely on friends to help me through life. Rarely do I jump into activities without having friends by my side. My very view of the world is like a child’s: too innocent, believing that the world is a happy place…I originally wanted to become a veterinarian because I thought animals were cute, and helping them would be so much fun!
But as time goes on, I’m finally starting to learn about reality. My first job working was as a kennel assistant; everyday, veterinarians were forced to euthanize disease-ridden pets. One of my first tasks was to take out the body of a dead dog. I’ve learned that people aren’t simply good or bad, but are complex and take a lifetime to know. I’m slowly beginning to realize that life is hard, and to survive I must learn to be independent, I must learn to take risks, and I must learn how to live life.
An eagle learns how to fly by watching its mother; but it takes its first flight without any help. It leaps into the unknown without any guarantee. I am learning to be more spontaneous in order to find out what my future holds, and what it is to soar.
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