My little sister stood there, crying her eyes out as I held my last piece of luggage in one hand and prepared to say my last goodbye to my family dropping me off in my dorm room. I was the first one in my family to leave home for more than a week, let alone for college in an entirely new city. I always thought that these kinds of goodbyes were just on television, and I definitely didn’t expect my strong-willed sister to be bawling. I knew that I had to go though, because while a majority of me knew leaving and going on was for me and for my future, part of me wanted this for her.
Ever since I was 4 years old, I was put into the role of being an older sister. My younger years with my sister Danielle consisted of fighting and avoiding someone who “cramped my style.” Danielle was the opposite of me in certain aspects. She was extremely accident-prone and was the more talkative one growing up. She would always be the one that would understand precisely what I was going through in terms of home life because she was right next to me fighting the same battles. As I grew up, especially in high school, I began to consider my sister one of my closest friends. I have no idea why it took so long for me to realize that she was so close to me in age, but instead of avoiding my little sister and feeling this weight of obligation to bring her along, I willingly hung out with her because of the simple notion that I loved the time that we had together. Senior year of high school, I went through the typical teenage years of stress, trying to do everything to get into college, breakups, and drama. It came to the point where she saw how much everything had taken its toll on me. My sister left me a message online that I never forgot. It read as follows:
"I worry about you. You have so much to live for, and lately I have been worrying about you. You’re always sad and never satisfied with all the blessings God has given you. You don’t even realize how much your tears hurt me. I feel so helpless just watching you cry yourself to sleep. You’re so smart, popular, pretty. And like Jazmyn said, ‘you are too nice to get hurt like this.’”
This was when I came to realize how much she looked up to me and believed in me more than almost anyone. Ever since I was little, she’s been one of my primary support systems. I know that she works hard for herself, but I know that she’s inevitably compared to me all the time. Part of the reason why I do what I do is for her. I want to make her proud and give her a good example to follow. She’s not only my sister but also one of my closest friends, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s one of the most driven people I know. Even though she’s small she has the biggest heart, and even though she’s my younger sister a lot of the times I find myself looking up to her.
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