I have grown up as a first generation Asian American. The word may seem to have a simple denotation, but it has a lot of connotation in reality. Not only does that mean our parents expect us to be doctors and lawyers, it also means that there are a lot of expectations therefore pressure on us Asian Americans. One stray from the set “pathway of life” then we become shame, not only to the society but to our parents. With all these expectations, most Asian Americans do tend to succeed in life, becoming successful adults. But some do stray away from the path and are ‘marked’ as the outcast of the society. Surprisingly, a lot of Asian Americans think that this is ‘normal,’ causing them to try harder to fit into the narrow box their parents and their society has created for them. Growing up in such norm and watching my sister fall from path and receive scorn from friends and family, more pressure came to me to be successful in life. Not only was I to be a perfect daughter, I had to be the perfect student as well. So as I completed high school and entered college, my goal in life became clear; I was to be a pharmacist. This goal, however, was chosen for me by my parents in order for me to have a better chance at getting a job as a minority. Working at a pharmacy for two months now, I realize that pharmacy is not the fit for me. But now, I am afraid to make any other choices in life, because I am afraid that that I will be wrong.I walked into a tunnel, thinking I knew where the exit was. Now there are not only one, but countless exits ahead of me, full of possibilities. I stand in fear and confusion, afraid to make a choice. I am afraid that making a choice will lead me to fail, and label me as a failure and disappointment. I am a perfectionist, and I am afraid to make a choice because I am afraid of failures. So now, I stand still not moving forward or backward in life.
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