I do a lot of things that I do not want to do. Unfortunately that does not mean that I am constantly doing laundry and working on homework. It means that I am not as sweet as I wish. It frustrates me sometimes that I don’t act how I really want to act.When I was younger I used to get down on myself if I didn’t smile enough, appear thankful enough, basically, I was just bothered that I wasn’t this perfect vision I had for myself. As a Christian, I especially felt like I needed to be this great loving light.But, honestly, I am just not always perky, smiley, and giving.Why am I a brat sometimes? Because I am not perfect. I am, however, increasingly aware of my bad habits, and I’m happily trying to correct them.As I grow and get to know my God better, I’ve learned that he takes me as I am and cleans off all the slime I get all over me. He loves me so much, he makes it really clear, and it inspires me to love others and behave just the way I want to behave.I do what I do because God is rad. When I walk around cheerfully, God gets the credit because his goodness and perfection make me want to be good and love the world. When I walk around with a scowl and am just so disgustingly preoccupied with myself – that also only happens because God allows it. He knows that I am not cool without him, he’s knows what I am like at my worst, and yet he loves me and accepts me anyway, and then he takes me and works on me to make me into something beautiful.My goodness is nothing apart from him.I am not always who I want to be. I behave rudely, and I behave lovingly because God understands me, lets me make mistakes, and gently steers me in a direction that is infinitely better than any sort of way I could come up with for myself.
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