I do what I do because otherwise, I would not feel complete. I often view myself as a walking contradiction, a split between two opposite halves. On the one hand, I am rather practical. This is the side of me that likes to maintain structure and routine. There is a certain comfort in waking up at 6 o’clock in the morning every day and knowing exactly what I plan to do that day. It is even more satisfying to go to sleep feeling accomplished after having followed through with those plans. Yet my routine consists of more than just what I do every day; it is also about how I do it. I try to distinguish between right and wrong and to uphold the former. I try to be reliable and sincere to family and friends because my relationships with them give meaning to my existence. They help make each day worthwhile, and so I am perfectly content with ordinary, everyday life.Yet, on the other hand, I am rather impractical. This is the side of me that wants to break beyond the confines of the ordinary. It is driven by the desire live a more exciting life than the usual routine and to understand beyond conventional knowledge in books. At worst, it is highly idealistic and impulsive. I spend my days dreaming of being more than who I am and of what could not possibly happen. At best, though, these dreams and desires push me to work harder and to drive further. This is the side of me that gives me motivation in trying to grow a little more every day, to make what is seemingly impractical become probable. It may make me discontent with the present, but it also pushes me to aspire to be better.These two sides of me often contradict each other, with one side wanting consistency while the other desiring change. Yet push and pull as they might, I cannot be whole without both halves. It is when these two are enmeshed that I am complete, that I am me.
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