Cecilia Johanna Coetsee. Dogter van Josef en Cecilia Coetsee. Sussie van Marilie and Abram Coetsee. An American girl with Suid-Afrikanse bloed. ‘A humble follower of Jesus Christ.I’m a neurotic heading in a thousand directions. A hardworking, and contemplative individual. Someone who wants to help you see your beauty.This is who I am.I work. I take responsibility. I care. I think—A LOT. I don’t make sense. I don’t like to share because you might not care. I try to be better than I am.This is what I do.I do what I do because of who I’m expected to be and who I wish I was. The strong and successful business woman, a charming and intelligent young lady, a pleasant individual, a dependable friend, funny, talented, helpful, righteous, certain, confident, perfect—I do it because I wish I was perfect and don’t want people to see my flaws. I do it so I can build up my “resume” in case one day someone asks me why I’m worthwhile. This way I’ll have an answer—a long list of assets to impress. I hold myself accountable to this ideal self but I often fail to live up to my own standards. I don’t like asking for help because I don’t want to be needy or take advantage of other people.I do what I do in hopes of preparing myself for the day I become inspired to do that whatever it is that will define me. I blindly try to gain the tools that may serve whatever passion I end up discovering in myself. I do it in the hopes of one day having the courage to do exactly what I want and refusing to fail.I do what I do because I feel I owe it to them—my family. Because they deserve it, they deserve it all. I do what I do because I want us to be happy. I do what I do for my family—past, present and future.I do it for them.That’s why I do it.
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