You know you’re dying right now?

[Seung Chi]

You know you’re dying right now? I remember joking with my friend most recently and the conversation ended up with the joke above. We laughed about it then because it was quite clever, and true. Every second that passes is a second that takes us closer to the finish line called death, whether it is the day after tomorrow, a decade, or several decades from today. Omitting religious beliefs, we can all accept that we have, at least, one precious lifetime on earth, and for me, I do not want to waste it.

I remember growing up with a rather gloomy and negative personality, which reflected on my lifestyle. The way I viewed life, I had a hard time appreciating anything and everything. I didn’t see any point to life and, in retrospect, was quite the negative Ned. Eventually I started to realize that something was wrong and I needed to change how I lived and especially how I viewed life. The one thought that I try to live by everyday now is that if I were to die tomorrow or anytime soon, would I have any major regrets with my life. Thinking back to my younger years, I have much to regret including my indifference in high school, disappointment I gave to my mother and family several times, and all the wasteful hours doing activities that I didn’t enjoy but did to keep my mind busy. After I got out of high school, I started to change for the better and put more effort in my life, but once in a while my past would creep up on me and surprise me when I least expected it, which is quite annoying to say the least.

Now, if you were to ask me today if I have any major regrets in the time range of the last 3 or 4 years, I feel confident that I would shrug my shoulder and shake my head no. Although I may not have performed well in some classes in UCLA, I know my reasons and I learned from my mistakes. Additionally, I have a great collection of hobbies that I enjoy and can rely on to keep me sane in all this madness called school. Whenever I have time, or to be more specific I make time, I attend dance classes and do weight training. Sometimes I might just feel like dancing on the street while going to class or just at home to refine the art. Weight training was something I picked up while I was remaking myself and it has its benefits, biologically and socially. Although I cannot live a perfect life where everything I do will result in success, ultimately I decided that I would do what I can and accept the results, not holding on to either success or failure for too long. So when I look back at my past, I will not feel regret for the things I didn’t do, but look with appreciation for what I had done and was willing to do.

Now that I think about it, I can recollect what I said to my friend in the story I mentioned above. He said, “You know you’re dying right now?” I remember replying naturally, “I know.”