because if i don't...

why do i do what i do? because if i don't then everyone will know how truly down i am all the time. i never feel as though i fit in. i'm an outsider to this world and i want to be happy, but i'm not happy. hardly ever. i want one day to be normal again. i haven't been happy in almost a year and i know that if i'm pretend that i'm happy long enough then i will end up actually happy, or at least i will think that i am.
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  • I feel that way about my brother and sisters too, and they live far away
  • my brother. and hes at home and i'm away at school. i only get to see him when i have enough money to get home-gas wise-and even then i dont get to spend as much time with him as i'd like.
  • if you're hardly ever happy, that means you must be happy sometimes, right? if so, what does make you happy?
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